(Mostly) Auto Year in Review

Summing up 2013, or any year for that matter, is a difficult task. Writers always sum up years into sound bite paragraphs all the while boiling down the great plethora of events and happenings as much as humanly possible, and I don’t really enjoy when this happens. It’s a great disservice to the magnitude a whole year has. However, good writers can do the year justice and still give it the recognition it deserves. Chad did that very well with his YIR and I will attempt to do the same here by giving you a brief overview of the year in the automotive industry, and maybe a few tidbits outside that realm.

parking lot 1Car of the year.

This is the most obvious question to ask. What is your “car of the year?” My COTY is going to be a blatant, sock you in the face bit of “you don’t say?!” I also subscribe to the opinion of not nominating

anything you haven’t either 1) driven or 2) been a passenger in and even that is pushing the boundaries of giving an honest opinion. So with that said, I have a fairly small sample size to work with. My COTY is, the 2014 Subaru WRX.

you don't say

Considering I bought this car this year, I feel if I didn’t give it give it to this particular car, I could possibly have bought the wrong vehicle. I’m currently taking residence in the hatchbacks-are-awesome tent commune. There’s really not much this car can’t do. It’s utilitarian, it’s very quick, it looks excellent, and it’s a beast in hazardous conditions. And did I mention that it was incredibly safe? If not, it’s incredibly safe. If I was going to give this award to a car that I don’t own, the Mazda 6 is the ticket. If you want a car that’s affordable, has excellent quality, and is THE game changer in the family sedan segment, go buy one. Seriously stop what you’re doing and get one. You can thank me later.



Biggest disappointment.

This is a really tough category for me as there are so many cars I have a venomous hatred towards. Most of that hatred is unjustified and personal for no real reason at all. Keeping that in mind, I have to give this to the Mercedes CLA. I have not yet had a chance to drive this car or sit in it, but going on looks alone, this is a huge disappointment for me. I will admit to being sucked in my the sleek and cool marketing campaign that only Willam Dafoe can deliver. I also will admit I was quite excited for this car to land stateside, despite my bitter hatred for most Mercs. Up front, it looks great. Then once you get to the rear, it’s like they just gave up. It’s proportioned poorly and looks as if it should be on a completely different car. If looks are what draws you to a car, this car can’t be further from what you’d expect and want. And the fact that it looks completely different in person as opposed to renderings and pictures is like a slap in the face. I’m sure the car is a great driving car, but if I’m buying a $40,000+ daily driver, I’m going to any other luxury dealer in existence.


Celebrity I wish was no longer in the media.

Miley Cyrus. There is no tem Miley. I’m sorry. If you think there is one, re-examine your life. Music, garbage. Life, garbage. Influence, way too much. Please stop. No one wants to see your sweater-coated tongue anymore.


2015 WRXCar I’m most looking forward to that I can actually drive.

This once again is a “no shit” scenario for me. The 2015 WRX. If this car is a good as Subaru, all it’s fan base, and all the test drivers say it is, this could be something special. The FA20 engine is also going to be interesting with the literage going from 2.5 to 2.0, the efficiency going up, and the strength of the block much improved. It’s ugly and I’m really glad I did not wait and bought the 2014 (also because the hatch option is no longer available), but I will reserve further judgment until I can get a test drive.



McLaren P1Car I’m most looking forward to that I will not be able to buy. Like, ever. No really. EVER.

The McLaren P1. I have an unnatural obsession with McLarens on the whole. The F1 is still the greatest super car every built, in my opinion. The P1 will no doubt top it. Graced with stupendous beauty and technology just short of a warp drive, the P1 will no doubt go down in history as one of the all time greats.



Honda NSXCompany that will make the biggest news in 2014.

100% speculation, but I have a good feeling for Honda. Based on the hurt Ford put on everyone in 2013, I feel Honda is poised for a comeback. Strong lineup. Excellent quality. Good models. Let’s see what happens.


Who will win the…

Stanley Cup: Montreal Canadians
Superbowl: Seattle Seahawks
World Series: LA Dodgers
NBA Championship (who cares): Miami Heat


The most obvious prediction(s) humanly imaginable.

My WRX will get lower than 25 MPG combined.
Teenagers will continue to send n00dz over Snapchat.
Kate Upton will continue to be crazy hot.
Toyota will sell the most cars on earth.
GTI drivers will continue to be and look like massive douchebags.


The boldest prediction(s) humanly imaginable.

Tesla will be bought by a major car company that rhymes with bevy.
The US will realize the chicken tax is ass-backwards and repeal it, giving us European cars and trucks that can rival American car companies.
Americans will finally realize that “buying America” doesn’t mean buying a Ford or GM.
Mercedes has a plant in Alabama. Subaru one in Indiana. Get a clue people.
Louis Hamilton will absolutely dominate F1 and win the championship in a landslide with 3 races left.
Elon Musk will have a complete nervous melt down and claim he is Iron Man, build a suit, and blow up the moon before solving world hunger.
BMW will outsell Merc and Audi to reclaim the title of best selling luxury brand.
I will win the lottery and blow it all on a Ferrari 250 GTB.


Thanks 2013, you were amazing. Time to write some new history. Let’s get to it.


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